A tortured night…

Creativity has exploded in my mind since this weekend, so much more than ever before. It is as if a portal has been blown wide open. My inner mind finds pictures and words to represent things and events and emotions; ways to pull those tortured pieces finally out of me. But some of those ideas are equally jagged and emotionally painful. Do I pursue them or lay them to rest?

I think this is why Sifu told me yesterday to stay grounded and to take things in moderation. It is as if this part of my self-realization, this part of recreation, is just as filled with fire and danger as the depression and breaking apart was. In addition to this torture, a full moon approaches. While that has always mysteriously affected me, I recognize it now and its energy these recent months feel as though I am being pulled out of my skin.

I must be careful with myself these next few days. I will need to find ways to quiet the mind and calm my spirit; engage in useful and healthy behaviors. Perhaps practice some meditation or work on my Tai Chi and Choy Li Fut kung-fu forms. Those have helped in the past and writing down that plan now is actually helping already.


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