Here are a few shots I dared to take with the Canon of me playing with the water while on a moving fishing boat. I have been learning and applying the concept of dealing with reality and living in the moment. At that moment, the water was real; its wetness, its movements, its touch against my skin.
Earlier in the day, I was contemplating my dad’s death when I was three years old. Not ever having been told the full truth behind his death and only hearing snippets and rumors about it and the person he was, my child’s mind had turned that event into something to reinforce the neglectful and abusive treatments I had received from others since his then.
In the practice of dealing with what is real versus emotions or thoughts and in recently developing a healthy perspective on death (instead of a fear-based one), I am finally able to see that my dad merely died; that his death was not some grand statement he made because I was not a lovable child. He just died.
In accepting this, I am freed from carrying the trauma of his death and the burden of proving that I am indeed a lovable and valuable individual. I can simply just be.