Polyamory is one of the numerous ways we can choose to engage in a relationship with people. Defined as “many loves,” it is often frowned upon in our society. But I ask, is this really such an unnatural or unacceptable way?
Let’s explore this for a minute. Have you ever cared for, loved, or craved the presence of another person while you were in a relationship already? Have you shared an intimate moment, a deep connection, or a wildly sensual exchange with somebody who is not your proclaimed solo partner?
If you did, what did you do with those emotions; your genuine, unchecked, and natural moments? Did you question yourself, your love for your partner, and your ability to be trustworthy? Did you hide your feelings and feel the fear of accidentally expressing yourself freely?
As you ponder my questions, I hope you can see how suppressing your natural self brings about feelings of guilt and shame; thoughts and emotions of not being worthy and not measuring up to the standards of “true” love and honest relationships.
Why live in this murky negativity and whose standards are we trying to live up to anyway? Why should we hide our true, natural self? Are we able to even honor our or our partner’s unique and beautiful self as we hover in the darkness of fear and shame? Are we able to reach our full potentials as free individuals when we continually suppress our emotions? In my experience, I can not.
Granted, polyamorous relationships are not for everyone. What I personally appreciate about its philosophy over others that I have experienced is its encouragement of honesty, openness, and communication. It allows for space to discover and develop one’s personal flavors for all of life. Most importantly, when done right, it honors personal freedom and sense of self. And those are things I celebrate and embrace every day as they are the basic foundations that touch every aspect of my life.
Author’s Note: I selected this photo I took during last night’s full moon as it highlights the importance of the individual in relationships. No matter what kind of relationship we choose, remember to always be true to yourself.